So, I found out today that after hearing my baby's heartbeat (at 6w1d), the baby stopped right there. At almost 9 weeks, I measured 6 weeks 2 days today and there was no heartbeat anymore. I have been here before I swear.....the light spotting, the loss of symptoms, the small voice saying "all is over"....being in that office again, with that awful machine showing everything except an ounce of positive news.... deciding between going home and waiting for my body to do what it is supposed to do but NEVER does, taking medicine in which in about 5 hours I will physically go through my version of hell or to schedule a surgery in which I will go to sleep and wake up empty.....what wonderful choices I have.
So here I am, with another round of pre-op steps before I have surgery...which unbelievably cannot be done any earlier than next Friday the 9th. This blog will be an important outlet for me, as we have decided not to share any of out trying, losing and pregnancy news to our friends or family. So tonight I begin my blog on losing two babies in less than 6 months and have a bittersweet glass of wine with some Brie cheese....things not allowed 3 hours ago when I was still happily pregnant.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Here I am
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7 comments:
Hello - thank you for stopping by my blog, although I'm sorry you even had reason to.
I can't imagine exactly how much you must be hurting right now. My miscarriage is still fresh and searingly hurting on my heart and mind, but to lost two precious babies is gut-wrenching. I grieve with you, sister.
A blog is a good place to put your heart on the line and just receive support in return.
Welcome... Please keep posting, I'll be reading. And crying for our little children right here with you.
Hi Meg,
I am so incredibly sorry for your losses. I wish there was anything I could say that would take away the pain, but the best I can say is sorry. That really sucks.
Also not telling people in real life, I have found being able to vent to strangers/an empty hole in cyberspace via my blog very cathartic. I hope you find some peave here.
K
Also check out "A Brief History of You" and "Ms. Planner" (they are both on my blogroll). We have all gone through two consecutive miscarriages, and we have been exactly where you are now.
You WILL get through this, but it is really, really awful. So very few understand and even fewer know what to say.
MissedConceptions
My favorite part of the D&Cs is the anesthesia -- not feeling for at least a little bit was very nice.
Hi there Meg,
thanks so much for stopping by my blog. My heart goes out to you and your recent news. Although we may have not all had 2 miscarriages I think most of us know it's a very real possibility. We've already found out what it's like on the wrong side of the stats. Hopefully blogging will truly be a great help when you feel there's not a soul in your every day life that could understand. I know I do. I'll be thinking of you this coming Friday.
Hi Meg. I'm so glad that you started a blog. There are a lot of great folks out here.
I'm so sorry for your losses. I will be thinking about you on Friday.
i'm so sorry for your losses.
welcome to the IF blogsphere. i'm glad you found us, but i'm sorry you have to be here. you will find lots of love, support, and information.
thinking of you and hoping friday goes fast,
-lori
So sorry :(
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