"So I am going to have a Winter Baby"

My husband and I are surrounded by people who have known each other years, talked about their baby plans and know EVERYTHING about each other. All of the girls were sorority sisters or in PLC in college. I have been with my husband for 9 years and have yet been able to penetrate my way into this group of women. It is hard to explain the whole picture in this blog but basically, there is a group of friends (whom my sister in-law is a part of) who have all married around the same time, all to guys who are also close college friends...sick I know. My husband is the younger brother of one of these guys and he is very close to this group of guys. For some reason (I was not in Kappa whatever and therefore cannot join their fun, ever...did I mention they are all about 30?)I have not been a part of the girl clan. Now when we all hang out (guys and gals) we all have fun but then I hear about all of the shit the girls do together and it just burns me. Not that I necessarily want to be a part of it at all, just weirded out by the fact that I am not.

Well, they all had babies last year - except for two couples who now, because they have decided to wait on the kid thing, are criticized for "not liking children". And now we have been under the radar - if I am just drinking water I get the old "Are you pregnant"...."when are you guys gonna have one of these things?" and absolutely interrogated. It makes me SO mad and frustrated but I really do not want to tell them, to have this journey through hell with some caddy women.

So a few months ago, my sister in-law came over for a play date with my niece and the twins I nanny. I was trying to get pregnant at the time, frustrated because I did not ovulate for 3 months after miscarriage #1. She came over and within 30 minutes, she brought up getting pregnant. Now, remember....we have not told anyone about trying, losing or anything else that is happening with us....mainly for reasons like this. All of the women who have one year olds now are all thinking about #2. Well my sister in law knows when every one of them is going to start trying. She tells me that they want a Winter baby so they will start trying this March or April, and "P" wants a Spring baby because having a Fall baby was tough because if the cold and flu and germs. And "L" wants to have her next one conveniently in the beginning of Summer, in between her med school residencies. What the F*CK.....how is it that these women can think this way? Thinking you can just pick what month you have your baby is sick and twisted in so many ways.

The reason what she was interrogating me was that she wanted to know when we were going to get pregnant so A) supposedly she wanted to let the girls know when we were so they may change their plans so our #1 would not be in the same time frame as them....she said it was because she did not want to ruin our excitement...being #1 and all. and B) she did not want both of us to be pregnant at the same time. Mainly because our mother in-law is SICK....like nutty grandma sick. For example, when my sister and brother in-law got prego, they told everyone before 8 weeks, before their first appointment (oh to be naive again). Well my mother in-law sent a package on the day of their first appointment with baby books, tiny newborn clothes, a quilt.....just a cute little package for them to open after they got home from their appt. Needless to say, I would have two packages to send right back to her fucking doorstep by now. This is why she does not know about this stuff.

I somehow brushed it off, told my SIL I was so busy with grad school and not thinking about babies yet and whatever they all wanted to do with their families was just fine, no pregnancy would ruin our excitement and I would have no problem being prego at the same time as her. Good cover right? Well now I cannot get get this out of my head. I wish I had the guts to just tell them what we are doing is none of their business and when we have some good news to share, we will. Now that I have gotten prego again and lost #2 since this conversation, I am even more sad and upset about how these women think they can perfectly plan a baby basically based on what birthstone they might like best. This sucks.