T Minus One Day

Last year at this time, I was in my first 2 week wait. I remember how excited I was that we were finally both on board with TTC. I got my first positive HPT on May 7th and it was confirmed at the doctors on May 9th. How elated I was! I ran across a note in the kitchen the other day from that time. I quickly jotted to my husband that I was going to the market and that WE loved him. Cute and innocent at the time..slightly gut wrenching to find that this week. We were just so excited and had no idea what lurked behind those first two lines.

I am headed into my resection tomorrow morning and I am pretty nervous. I just want them to knock me out as soon as possible. I dread the hour before...answering questions, getting an IV, feeling sad and dreadful. But then I will wake up and crave a cheeseburger and all of a sudden be on my couch. Happens every time. This surgery does feel very different though. I am nervous but excited at the same time. The last two times were D&Cs which had their added sense of removal, finishing and ending my already non-viable pregnancies. There was so much sadness. This time I feel like they are going in to fix me and I am hopeful and more at ease with this process.

After my first loss, we tried again in September. The summer flew by and all of a sudden we were there, trying again. I just hope this summer flies by again and that in September I am ready, both physically and emotionally to get back on this ride.