Am I really supposed to be fine by now and just start trying again like the last year and a half was just practice....? Am I supposed to not fear getting pregnant again and not fear that my body may still reject a pregnancy? Is this supposed to be exciting again, like I am TTC for the first time?
I go to my annual exam today and the same NP that told me there was no heartbeat the first pregnancy was my NP today. She looked at my chart, looked up.... "Do you have any questions for me?", she asks. Well no I didn't. I may have had some but I was a little unraveled from going back to this OB office since I have been at the RE office since January and the last time I was here I had a D&C awake after miscarrying all morning at home. She does my exam, feels the boobs and says "Okay, now you know we have free pregnancy testing in the lab so we will see you soon." I tell her that once I have a +, I am going to be staying with the RE until 10 weeks. She says "Yes, I am sure he will just see that the betas are doubling (been there) and there is a heartbeat (been there) and then you will come back to us....very exciting!".
Did she not read that since I have seen her I have miscarried again, had two D&C's, had my uterine septum removed and still take Parlodel daily for galactorrhea? Does any of this fall under woman's wellness? Very exciting???? Lady come on. I am terrified and feel really broken and you just throw my legs up like it is some puppy mill and not even acknowledge that I checked 2 pregnancies and no live children today on my form. I am fuming at how awful this visit felt.
I am so uncomfortable thinking this will be my OB office. Hooray for Kaiser.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Gynie visit from hell
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13 comments:
I'm sorry they were so insensitive. Are you heading back to your RE? Any chance you could get a referral for a high-risk OB when you do get pregnant? They should be more sympathetic and understanding.
I am convinced that doctors that aren't RE's don't read even a fraction of your chart. The concept of bedside manner is GONE.
Kaiser is really limiting, but technically your RE is an GYN, he/she may be able to refer you to someone better? Worth a shot. If not, think of the money you will save on their free pregnancy testing! (ha)
I am sorry this was so tough.
I agree with the other comments - see if your RE can refer you to someone else in the Kaiser system. I think you have had your fill of your current OB.
You have every right to be terrified. And pissed!
Oh..I am so sorry. I can't stand stupid doctors (or NP's). They all make me crazy!!!
I've found on the ivillage miscarriage message board, and from my personal experience, that doctors and nurses are just immune to the personal, emotional aspect that we go through. I tell myself it must be bc they deal with it often at work, but to us, this is our life. I wish they had a better understanding and a better way of dealing with patients like us.
Meg, she sucks. I hope you can find a new doctor! I switched to a new one a few months ago and am *so* relieved. I'm still going to the RE for now, but I'm not dreading going to the OB like I have in the past. My old one had me hyperventilating every time I walked through the door. As if we need any more bad vibes surrounding our situations!
Good luck... :)
What is wrong with people?! Sometimes they just don't think before they speak. I'm sorry you had to deal with this and I hope you can find a new OB.
Oh geez! Meg, I am so so sorry! What a wench. Whether it was ignorance or outright stupidity - yech...just yech! That sounds so awful. I hope you are able to avoid going back there somehow....it seems so unfair. And you deserve so much better.
This just sucks. I can't believe she was so flippant. Don't you think that they sometimes are that way just because they see us as the high maintenance ones. If you can I'd find another Ob/gyn. If not just stay with your RE as long as possible.
Ugh I feel you. I am not thrilled with my last ob-gy but luckily if I ever graduate from my RE I can find a new one.
Maybe it's worth trying to get a new one, only so you don't have to revisit the same office where you had so many crappy experiences before.
Uggh! I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hate going over my "history" with the nurses - both at the RE and my OBGYN. Each time I teared up talking about them and it was worse seeing them write down ZERO children. I can't imagine someone so insensitive and happy giddy for you when you obviously weren't...
I'm sorry it was terrible. ~hugs~.
You have every righ tin the world to be scared. And this NP should have at least acknowledged it may be scary for you.
Well, screw her. We're here for you!
oy vey. i am so sorry they are so stupid. it seems that bedside manner can't be taught!
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