optimism

I have learned that staying upbeat and positive unless otherwise needed works best for me. I learned this being pregnant with Finn as the first half of my pregnancy was suffocated by worry, dread and catastrophic thinking. When I assume it is fine, maybe it will turn out fine after all, right? Finn is here and healthy and adorable and I now look back and see how many stressful days I could have spent enjoying his kicks and my ever expansion. I could have enjoyed the nursery prep and my shower. Instead I let worry take a front row seat on my shoulder.

I can use this new found lesson. My father is ill. He was supposed to come out for a visit last week and canceled due to increasing dizziness, loss of balance and nausea. An MRI confirmed a brain tumor, not huge but still worrisome because his behavioral symptoms are getting worse- poor old guy has a cane and handicapped stickers now. The doctor is concerned because the growth is unlikely to be the sole traveler, I guess from the type and location he suspects others. He will have a CT scan of his abdomen next week and will start with an oncologist to get the scoop.

My sisters are feeling like this is it and they are all planning trips out there. I had my moments yesterday after his call, especially when I went in to get Finn from his nap - imagining that there might be a chance my dad won't see him walk. I went there for a moment - and it was ugly. We don't know anything right now - so why not just roll with that for now?? Just join me in thinking healthy thoughts.