So when we were in Utah, hubby and I were laying in bed one morning and he talked about sex....actually having sex again. After my usual " I am not sticking anything in my vagina this soon after surgery" speech (my version of "I have a headache so cannot get it on"), we actually talked about the supposedly more fun part of TTC. Sad to say we have not had sex since before my BFP in September because I was scared to lose the baby during those 8 weeks and now I am almost done with my 3 weeks no sex instructions post D&C.
When we do start again, he wants to not use protection and thinks we should just be "kind of" careful.(Actually he called it the "withdrawal method"....which immediately made me snicker as I have never heard him say that and immediately felt like a chick on prom night thinking condoms were way uncool.) He thinks this is a good ideas since after all "it would not be a bad thing to get pregnant"....and this is when it started.
I am so scared to get pregnant again. These tiny feelings and urges to start trying again as soon as we can (Feb maybe) are scaring me and I feel really bombarded right now. I also think I am about to get my first AF since the m/c too which has me really hormonal the past few days. I have not heard anything from the doc on the pathology/genetic testing of baby #2 and I am antsy.....can't geneticists work on Thanksgiving, geez.
I am scared something is wrong with me and I am responsible for my babies not making it past 6 weeks. I cannot imagine getting prego a third time without seriously talking with my doc and RE and doing a recurrent pregnancy loss work-up or whatever they will do. I just need something, someone else in the medical field to look at me and tell me that they think it would be okay to try for #3 naturally. I cannot just start shagging again and hope #3 will just be okay. I do not work that way.
I think J thinks they were both flukes and is right on track to try again as soon as I give him the go ahead. I think he thinks a lot of the RPL steps like progesterone shots and baby aspirin are Hocus Pocus while I am ready to do whatever someone tells me to do.
I am scared for CD1 which is right around the corner. I will take a few months to just track my ovulation, fend of my horny husband somehow and meet with docs....oh and somehow fit celebrating Christmas in there.
I cannot help fearing the day when I get the green light to try again naturally, while at the same time hoping that the docs do not find something and the green light never comes. It is such a scary thought.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Bombarded
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6 comments:
I would NOT get pregnant until I could figure out what went wrong before. My thyroid is the most likely culprit, but the genetics were inconclusive.
I most hightly recommend "Coming to Term" and "Avoiding Miscarriage," both of which are available at Amazon. I would not have survived without them.
I do every single thing my RE (he specializes in recurrent pregnancy loss) tells me to do: Lovemox, baby aspirin, HCG, progesterone, etc... because I would rather feel like I am doing ALL I can do to prevent a miscarriage than just wait for one to happen again, which is what I felt like for pregnancy/miscarriage #2.
MissedConceptions
Most REs - and I hope yours does this too - will first conduct a meeting to discuss which RPL tests they are going to do. I highly recommend your husband go with you to this. Some tests have to be conducted on specific days in your cycle, so timing is key. Hopefully your OB has referred you to an RE already. If so, please schedule an appointment for the information session right away so you will be ready to go with the RPL work-up when your cycle starts. I felt the same way as MC, I refused to get pregnant until I knew what my issues were. It is just too heartbreaking the other way. I hope your husband understands and - if you are charting and temping - you'll know what days to avoid sex. I always found that a blowjob in lieu of sex was never rejected - sorry TMI :) Men, they are so easy.
Good luck with it all.
Hey MEg- Do you have an email address - Mine is Farahbeth AT Gmail dot com. If you give your email address I will send you those important questions I asked the dr's.
AS for this post - I could not agree with MissedConceptions any more than possible. I am doing lovenox and prednisone and baby aspirin.. There is alot of tests that can be done that are mostly covered by insurances.
I can imagine how scary this is...I think I probably would want to wait to. It's sort of a double edged sword isn't it? Hoping that its just a fluke for you! Crossing my fingers.
Honestly?
I'd just say to him that you are not ready yet and need to be more proactive about protection than the withdrawal method. Use the doctors advice to wait as your excuse if necessary.
It took me at least a couple of months to be ready after my second miscarriage.
Oh and if your doctor is willing to test then go for it, mine wouldn't run any tests until/unless I had 3 which was terrible to contemplate.
I hope you get some results and good ones from your doctor soon but I would tend to agree with everyone else to have RPL testing done, just in case. That said, I hope it's nothing and you go on to soon have a healthy happy pregnancy.
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