LONG ENTRY.... A graphic and cruel evening

Lie flat for 30 minutes....

This is what I used to do after having sex when were were trying. Yep, I would lay there and hope all went well. Imagined little fast swimmers and hoped they did their job. Now, tonight.....I layed flat for 30 minutes so the Misoprostol would absorb correctly. Let me give you a recap of my wonderful, pre-surgery day which ends with this entry, as I lay flat.

Noon- I get a call from my OB office saying they need to change my pre-op appt from 1:10 to 12:45 and I will be seeing the doc that will be doing surgery tomorrow. Great! I rush in the car to make the early appt. Pay the $30 bucks and head upstairs. I wait until 1:00, watching all of the pregnant women walk by me and even better, the TINY newborns going to their first appointments. The front desk lady comes back from lunch and checks me in. I then get a little snotty nurse who weighs me (I weighed 3 lbs more than I did a week ago...great). She seems upset, perhaps because she thinks I was late or something. She tells me that all of her rooms are dirty, which they all were. I got to wait in a room and watch her clean the table from the last woman.....lovely.

1:15- The nurse comes in and informs me that my 9am surgery is changed to 11:30am tomorrow. Seems harmless right?....not to a woman who has been carrying around a dead baby for over a f*^king week. Those 2.5 hours extra are a lot to me right now.

1:30- I finally meet with my doctor. Actually not my doctor, just a random woman I have never met who will be performing my surgery tomorrow. She is cold, matter of fact and clearly, in my mind, has no children. She goes through all of the risks of surgery....with actual hand gestures for what puncturing a uterus would seem like....Now this is the woman that will be doing the surgery tomorrow. After getting some scripts, filling consents.....I leave terrified. I got pain meds and 200mcg of Misoprostol . I got 1/4 of the dose women get when they choose to medically remove the miscarriage because my doc wants my "cervix dilated for tomorrow". Wasn't the purpose of the surgery to do all of that shit while I was sleeping??? I called my husband crying in the parking lot and tell him I hate my doctor for tomorrow.

10:30pm- I come home from grad school and prepare to eat my late dinner since I will not eat again until after 1:30 tomorrow. I prepare to insert my medicine vaginally and read the bottle.

"Take one tablet orally per vagina night before surgery". Take with food or milk.

What the hell does that mean???? I am pretty sure I am supposed to insert this pill vaginally but call the pharmacy to just make sure. Not only was it confusing language but the actual pill was a tablet, not a waxy suppository or something. The pharmacy was closed but I was sent on a phone goose chase throughout departments in the hospital, with each person at the end of the phone breaking out in laughter at my situation and question. I felt humiliated, horrible and got many different answers. Finally I got a hold of the on-call OB after demanding to talk to him. He said to take them by mouth but if my doc said to take vaginally...to do so.

11:15- Here goes nothing. Insertion complete. I hope I do not wake up tonight with any cramping or spotting. I will try and sleep as late as possible tomorrow morning. I hate this.