The is something oddly comfortable about the way I feel right now. Sure I just finished having a second miscarriage so I am pretty well worn down but for the first time in a while, I am not charting, trying to get pregnant, in the 2WW, worrying about staying pregnant, learning I am not pregnant anymore and I am no longer carrying anything dead. I am strangely ok with just being me right now.
I do wish I were pregnant but I am not, and that is what I need to deal with right now...just appreciating me. I read so many of your blogs tonight and it is insane to see all of the different stages we are all in. I am leaving blog world tonight hoping and wishing you all the best luck this month, this cycle or this pregnancy (wherever you are in that mesh) and I am happy I can - forcibly I know - take a break from it all and give my body a break.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Oddly Comfortable
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5 comments:
Good for you! I completely understand what you're going thru...there's something consoling about not having to "do" anything following the miscarriage. Ironically it's probably the most zen time most of us have. And so true about everyone in different points in their cycles huh? Never thought about it like that...someone out there is ovulating (not me though!), someone out there is waiting out her 2ww, someone out there just got her AF, someone out there is recovering from a D&C, someone out there may find out that she miscarried tomorrow morning at her doctor, someone out there just found out she was pregnant this morning, and someone out there tomorrow will find out that her IVF gave her twins. So is life...
Thanks for the comment on my blog.
Good luck in getting comfortable with yourself!
I'm incredibly impressed with your ability find some zen in that in between place. I kept wishing I could get to a place where I was okay with being in the holding pattern, but I didn't really feel much better until now that we are getting ready to try again.
Enjoy your break and take the healing time you need.
Hey there. I found your blog on Stirrup Queens "Connections Abound" and I just want to say how incredibly sorry that you have to go through all of this. I suffered 2 miscarriages within 6 months and it was no picnic for me or my husband. So hang in there, sister. And I am so glad you have this community to support you. It has been a true gift in my life.
I saw your comment on the Reproductive Endocrinologist and I highly suggest you go for a visit. Most insurance companies cover fertility screening if it is related to recurrent pregnancy loss, which most docs now consider 2 in a row. They will test you and your husband for a number of things. And since you mention that you are analytical :) you might want to check out Jon Cohen's book "Coming to Term" about miscarriage, which was supremely helpful to me when I was learning about all of this.
Thinking of you and, again, I am just so sorry...
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