Sometimes I do not like living in Colorado. I miss the damp, grey springtimes that almost always guarantee a green summer. I miss the smell of rain and the earth constantly growing. I hate that by August, everything is brown and dry and there are huge dried out crevices in my garden and worse, numerous forest fires burning across the state.
I never get to hear cars drive on wet streets. Except for today. Each time one goes by I smile. It is crummy and grey and wet outside and I love it.
I am relaxing today at home, snuggling with my labs and trying to do some electronic organizing. I am trying to make some order of my music files and am attempting to get a better handle of all of the blogs I read. I am trying to divide them but it is so difficult. What if one of you does not agree that you are "waiting" for a fat healthy baby? What if you do not even know if you want to continue on this journey but I have labeled you as such? What if you are not really "waiting" because you did wait and you were pregnant and then you lost your little one....you are not waiting at all, you are pissed and sad and just want what is gone.
Each category has it's level of grey space and what ifs. I mean really, this sucks that I am perplexed and saddened by the thoughts I have of this process of having a child...just by making link titles. Am I just over thinking this organization tool or is my mind just in the gutters of IF and pregnancy loss? I have seen this on other blogs and it seemed like a good idea. Then while doing it, I felt really awkward placing you all in a category. I am going to try this for a while but I already do not think I like it.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Lazy wet day
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7 comments:
I struggle with the categories too, which is why I gave up on it and just lumped everyone together. Of course, once I discovered google reader, I haven't updated my blogroll at all.
I know what you mean about the weather. Honestly, having grown up here, I remember spring time as a constant pattern of sunshine followed by afternoon thunderstorms. Every day. It would rain hard for maybe 30 minutes and everything was fresh and ripe after that. And it smelled so good. I miss that.
Sister, you SO need to move to the PNW. Yesterday we had a partially sunny day (called *sun breaks* where the sun periodically breaks through the clouds & rain). Everyone in the neighborhood - dogs and cats included - was outside in their yards and in the park facing the sun like it was some religious object to be praised.
categorizing is so haard - i always try my best then - add if you want to be moved or need a new category email me - that whay they get to help you out too
Enjoy your day
Hey, I'm glad your surgery went well. I was totally thinking about you.
For categories, mine are simple: "no babies" and "babies". Everyone fits in those categories. ttc and living without children and neonatal death - all "no babies" (ugh, sad to write out) and pregnant and parenting go into "babies". :)
I'm with Denise -- I lumped everyone together, then stopped updating when I started using google reader.
I love the smell of spring.
Oh you are so sweet to think of us this way! I wouldn't care really...but might I suggest a either or category for someone like me who "may or may not" be pregnant on any given week. Otherwise it might be rather tedious for you to keep switching me back and forth :) Well I guess I should hope that doesn't happen any more...but old habits are hard to break. :) I could see how this could become a real chore though!
Thanks for your comment, Meg. It does give me a little bit of hope. I'm just so afraid to hope right now.
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